Substack Made Me Ugly Cry!

A Thank you Letter to Substack Community.

I have not Ugly cried in a very long time. These were tears of joy and gratitude.

This morning, one of the first things I did was meditate, pray, and journal.

After that, I went to my Substack community to read the notes and posts from so many friends I've met and others I would love to connect with.

There are so many!

I read a post by @Bernie Freytag about his brain injury and how it impacted his sense of taste, and how he is grateful for a dark roast cup of coffee that he can taste.

I broke down like a baby.

I continued reading post after post after post of other writers and the hearts of these people broke me wide open.

Every story I read is so honest, real, full of courage, and generous in what they share. The vulnerability is profound, so I felt compelled to write about this moment that moved my heart to tears.

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Today affected me so deeply; I haven’t been able to stop crying. It feels like my heart has been broken wide open, and I’m surprised by how much these people's stories have impacted me.

There was a time in my life, about four years ago, when people I thought would be in my life forever shocked me so much that I closed off my heart. I remember the day I made the decision to shut myself off. I had always been someone who poured into others, someone who listened and was there for friends.

(that's a whole other lesson learned about myself essay to be written)

When I stopped acting as they expected, not giving to them in the way they were used to, because I was going through my own struggles, they questioned my friendship, and what I perceived as punishment by them pulling away, therefore rocking my world.

I thought, “Oh wow, this is what love is; this is how you get repaid.” So, I shut down.

It said to me, “You're not enough, your love is not enough, and there are conditions.”

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I look back and see that the journey I took to discover myself, what healthy boundaries were, what all this meant for me, and how I viewed myself was probably the hardest season of my life.

It was a combination of figuring out my worth and value, taking responsibility for why I showed up in certain ways, but I still ended up closing myself off so much that I couldn’t receive anything back.

I shut off the best parts of me, my soft, compassionate side, and only allowed my husband, my children, and only a few friends into my life.

As I remained closed off for so long, I started to miss those soft parts of myself and couldn't figure out how to reconnect with them.

And then came Substack.

I don’t remember how I found Substack, but I began writing. I knew I wanted to write without knowing exactly what I would share. I always wanted to have an impact on others, but I would never have imagined that this community would have such a profound impact on my heart.

The people I’ve met here genuinely care about what I do; I’m still trying to wrap my mind around that. A part of me fears that if we met in person, would it be the same? (That's just my inner critic talking. Hush up Agnes!)

I know these individuals would be in person just as they are here online.

100 percent Genuine.

I’m incredibly grateful for this community. You have shown me how to return to love again, to give and serve in a way that feels generous and kind by your example.

You’ve helped me remember the soft parts of myself.

I'm still finding my courage through all of this.

Your courage has been a source of strength for me as I find my courage to write, post, and be vulnerable.

I'm still crying as I write this.

This is a thank-you letter to all of you.

Teri Leigh 💜

for taking a chance on me.

Ryan Delaney

for always being a huge cheerleader,

Sam Messersmith

for your youthful, joyful energy and support,

Shruthi Vidhya Sundaram

for your vulnerability and kindness,

Beckett Johnson

for your generous heart,

Megan Lee

for her raw honest realness,

Alicia Joyful

, how could I forget this kind soul, and the

The Creator Retreat

community that is slowly becoming a creative safe space family.

There are so many more, I hope you know who you are.

SO…

Even if you doubt posting something, remember that someone out there might read your note or post and have their heart cracked open, just like mine.

I am humbled and grateful to all of you who subscribed, read my notes, or commented.

Thank you for seeing the value in what I write and for subscribing and giving input.

Thank you for sharing your stories and being so raw, real, and generous with your words.

You have softened my hard heart, and that is worth more than you can imagine.

I am still finding my way through, finding my lane and rebuilding my confidence in how I want to be of service and give back.

This community has been like a compass back to my heart, and it has given me the courage to continue sharing my stories, showing up authentically, and giving back unconditionally.

I want to express my gratitude to all of you, my 95 precious subscribers, the friends I’ve made here, and those I don’t know personally but who have shared their hearts and stories.

You are seen, you are heard, and you are worthy, and you are making a difference.

You have certainly made a difference in my life.

And for that I, from the bottom of my softening heart:

Thank you, thank you, thank you!🙏🏾

With love and gratitude,

Sherry💞