Contemplation

Contemplating Change

I woke up this morning to my husband asking me “Are you feeling better?” to which I gratefully replied “Yes” he proceeded with his sarcastic humor “It's because I exorcised the demons out of you” ok, I chuckled. I got what he meant. I had been a bit “demon-possessed” acting lately. Off..but I guess that's what part of the process of change can look and feel like to those around you when you are moving through unfamiliar terrain of massive change and growth. I've become a contortionist of sorts, unrecognizable in my movements in how I communicate normally. It's like I'm learning a whole new language that, to be honest, hasn't been as romantic as one might think. You are at the mercy of the newness of it all. The best way I can describe how all this new change feels for me is like what a baby being born may feel like coming through their mother's birth canal. Here they are in their comfy warm safe womb where they get to eat sleep and poo in this yummy environment. And then all of a sudden, unbeknownst to them, they have outgrown their little safe haven and something begins to happen. They begin to contract, and something outside of them is calling them to a bigger space for them to grow. Their poor little body begins to be pulled outward and squeezed through a portal and they are met with voices urging them to come through. It seems to take forever for this birthing. And then in one fell swoop, they have entered a new life. The bright light and noises shock them and they cry breathing in this new air into their lungs. Where am I?? What is going on?? And then they are placed in someone's gentle arms and met with an overwhelming sense of love. It's a new place of safety and warmth. And they can relax and become calm again. Birth is painful messy and scary. And that's what change can feel like. But remember, it is always met in the end with love. Love S❤️